Messages From Her:
- All beginnings must come to an end. Seven years of bliss while demonstrating the best version of yourself and then cutting your losses if need be is better than holding on to 25 years of something that isn’t sailing your soul. Quality > quantity. As Maya Angelou once said, “Love liberates. It doesn’t just hold. That’s ego. Love liberates.”
- Redirecting a conversation when the vibe is heading to hell isn’t always the easiest choice in the moment, but there’s nothing sexy about feeling like trash. Being the bigger person is for self. The real power comes from leaving people where they are, not meeting them there. Hold yourself to the highest standard at all times because that sets the tone for how others treat you. Much is given; much is required.
- Things don’t have to be done just because “it’s the right thing to do.” Following your gut is something you have had to grow into, but you also have had to learn the hard way that when your head and heart don’t match, it’s best to go with the latter. It’s funny – and by funny I mean nauseating – to have to sit with yourself knowing you went against your gut and being proven right all along. Mind, body, and soul need to be in alignment, or nothing means nothing.
- Just as much as love is important in any relationship, so is trust, respect, and intelligence. Trust and respect are for obvious reasons. How can there be anything reliable built on dishonesty and disrespect? Intelligence is indispensable because if we learn from each other, then we are challenging what we thought we once knew and expanding beyond it. The more you know, the more you realize you don’t know a thing. “Shame on you for staying the same.”
- The purpose of expressing feelings isn’t for validation but to free your mind and find a middle ground. Conflict is everywhere; it’s about how healthily it’s handled. It’s not all in vain if others don’t see your side because you are not owed that from them. You owe it to yourself. There’s a phrase along the lines of “If you’re constantly seeking approval from others to build you up then you’re also giving them the space to tear you down.”
- What you see isn’t always what you get. There’s much grace in sitting back and being stoic. I mentioned this in a previous post, but this is a season of delayed gratification. Time is everything. It tells all, and it heals all. It’s a prized possession, precious cargo if you will.
- The moment you step outside, someone is always watching. Enjoy the moment but protect yourself and remain self-aware. Go back to #6.
- Never be afraid to challenge the status quo or “negotiate” as my dad says. Understanding isn’t based on your immediate interpretation of something, and miscommunication happens more frequently than expected. Ask questions and get down to the bottom of what you’re in pursuit of before making a decision.
- Ain’t no escaping an old soul. Saddle up and enjoy the ride.
- Assertive girlies aren’t always seen in the best light, but your prayers aren’t going to fall from the sky and into your lap without accountability. You have to fight for what you want. You have to nurture the life you want. Hardly ever should you take no for an answer. Maybe “not now”, maybe “not from you”, maybe “not in this form”, but a hard no? Ha, go back to the whiteboard and restart the brainstorming session. We have a world to change, a legacy to create, and a footprint to leave, beautiful.
Reflection Points:
- What messages to the younger self have you learned by living a little?
- Are you still pouring into that younger version of yourself? Is it easy?
- At what age(s) do you feel like the light switch was turned off and back on again?