I go through my bouts of imposter syndrome and believe you me, I exhaust myself with my unrealistic standards of perfectionism. One of these days, I’m going to review the data from my posts and find my most used words. I think perfectionism might be In the Top 5, along with balance. As previously mentioned, trial and error is how I learn, so it’s twisted to also beat myself up over creating error. But yes, this is she! A clear indicator that my mind isn’t focused on what’s important is when I start looking for past mistakes, instead of the here and now. When I get into that headspace, then I create even more unnecessary error because I begin operating from fear. It’s a downward spiral. The result of this manifests as indecisiveness and hindrance in decision-making. When I fall off from meditation, the self-doubt is just waiting to creep back in.
One thing that I am forcing myself to do is take more breaks throughout the day. Allowing myself to refocus helps me determine different approaches to solving the problem. I have spent over an hour working on something before and then I go take a shower and determine the winning solution. This also happens to me a lot in my sleep. Sometimes, I may not necessarily come up with a winning solution, but progress has to be made. In these instances, I have to remind myself that I am making the best decision with what I have, in the moment. Nothing would ever get done if we always waited for the perfect opportunity. Why is it that our best ideas come when we least expect them?
It’s important to acknowledge and learn from error. I give myself the space to understand how and why things went wrong, but my next step now is to shift my focus to a positive, or something I did right, so I don’t begin to ruminate. None of these things define me anyway. It makes it easier to find ways to improve my process when I clarify the overall picture, rather than the fact that I made a mistake. The act of making a decision, even if it has its flaws, affords the space for rest and to move forward. Leaders and innovators don’t have everything figured out; they dare to tackle the unknown and face challenges head-on.
I was listening to Jay Shetty’s interview with Dr. Gabor Maté, and I loved the discussion about how we were all born vulnerable and weak, and it persists until death. He provided a good analogy of how everything in nature only grows when vulnerable, and we have to be in a position of limitation to grow. My biggest challenge and opportunity for modification is showing weakness. Through therapy, I have made progress, yes, but vulnerability and imposter syndrome go hand in hand. If I derive from recognizing my weaknesses and accept that I am only human then there’s less room to strive for perfectionism. How much time is lost thinking of what went wrong when we could be reaping the rewards of what went right?
Reflection Points:
- I asked a few questions throughout this post, so what are your thoughts?
- How does imposter syndrome manifest for you? What can you learn from these moments?
- Do y’all listen to Tamara Levitt, Jay Shetty, or any other mindfulness instructors? What best practice(s) have you learned from them?
Ouuuu this question was good!! “ How much time is lost thinking of what went wrong when we could be reaping the rewards of what went right?”. I actually have my fair share of imposter syndrome. I remember one day asking God to reveal to me what’s hindering me. I had a dream that night revealing that imposter syndrome was at the root. I often use to get in my head and was beyond indecisive. I have been shifting my mindset and focusing on relying on God to direct me. I have to remind myself that all things work for good and I don’t have to worry about anything.
Thanks for the perspective! Cheers to deliverance right on time, especially when we need a reminder of Who’s in control. Your message is so true! The more we doubt, the less faith is guiding us. It’s always best to let go and let God.