I finished The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo last night, and since it’s been on my radar for a while, I’m glad I finally knocked it out. I think at this point, y’all know I love a good quote. There is one in particular that echoed and is the main theme of the book. “I have spent my life knowing the importance of allowing people to tell you who they are instead of reducing them to labels. And here I’ve gone and done to Evelyn what so many people have done to me.” As soon as I read it, I took a screenshot. We consistently use labels to describe who others are or their current states of mind, but the complexity of human nature can never be reduced to a couple of definitions and subjective points of view. Fundamental attribution error speaks to this concept. We tend to be more excusing of ourselves than those we come in contact with.
Am I ever going to stop mentioning balance? Not anytime soon because I believe that everything falls on a spectrum. I am always walking on one fine line. The book made a point that no one is ever 100% the victim or the villain. Nothing is ever black and white. The reality lies somewhere in between. We all demonstrate an array of emotions and characteristics that are varied but still interconnected, both “good” and “bad”. I can be excited that we are now getting more sunlight while also dreading the fact that it’s gnat season. I don’t need to pick whatever sounds the best and stick with it. Multiple things can be present and coexist. With labels, we leave very little room to allow others to just be, and we aren’t giving them the space to try something different. I had this conversation yesterday, but it takes time and effort to get to know someone. We never discover the full story until we try to uncover it, and even then, there’s always more to uncover. It’s unfair to come up with your own interpretation of who someone is without providing them the opportunity to show you. Communication is key.
Even the people closest to us are a mystery because we are constantly evolving. This is why there’s so much chaos in trying to define in the first place. What I find more valuable is to add context to the circumstances because what we really are trying to delineate is others’ behaviors while we have access to them, not their entire being. I often think of an example I’ve been given before. I can write someone off as a thief, or I can come from a place of understanding by realizing that this person’s family member needed a very expensive medication for survival, which resulted in theft. What were the events that took place that led up to this point? We all make questionable decisions to protect ourselves and the people we love. I have judged and have been judged, but one thing’s for certain: Ain’t no fun when the rabbit’s got the gun! Can’t you remember a time when you behaved in a way that didn’t symbolize your authentic self?
Reid, T. J. (2017). The seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo: a novel. First Atria Books. New York, Atria Books.
Reflection Points:
- I asked a few questions throughout this post, so what are your thoughts?
- What books were hard for you to put down?